You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
