You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
