who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Barsexuality is the new black.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
