I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
