we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
People in love make me want to vomit
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
