I am puke
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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