So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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