so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
