I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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