Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
