first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
