Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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