So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
