so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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