I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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