Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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