It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
