My first STD was from a foam party
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
