thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
