In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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