you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
