Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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