He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
