Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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