and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
