using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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