I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
