he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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