I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
