That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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