party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
