I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
