I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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