The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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