Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
