My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
