in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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