ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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