you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
where am i from again
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
