theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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