Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
