The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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