I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
