Where is the hickey?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
