I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
