hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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