i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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