I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
