She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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