Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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