Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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