What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
