Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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