If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize