Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
