let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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